fading away

blame it all

2007-08-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

somehow whatever accomplishments you gain just arent good enough to buy you benefits, or more specifically, a little free time to go out. time and time again, i am restrained within the friggin 4 walls of my house by my mum. study time away from home is no different than play time here at home, to her good results arent good enough to satisfy my dad's greed, one that rightfully should not oringinate from him. haiz. i havent studied for math test tmr. 2 hours left and im sitting here typing, not knowing a single crap on the Polynormials topic. i think i can compose a song now, got the mood. :O but needa go do math. sians.

undone

2007-08-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

"Her life was more than mine, Like a proud shooting star into the night, She crashed through the airwaves and ripped like a knife. It was a bad disease; her searching was over, over. Hold on to the light that guides you, Hold on to the air that cools you, Hold on, hold on to me"- Hold On - The Starting Line. good song man. meaningful. haha... its done: everything has become undone.

hows it feel

2007-07-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

whats it like, to be shot down by all the ones you think would support you in times of need? i should know best - i feel it all the time, even now. its only true these times of disappointment that the greatest friends are unveiled to you, while others shrink into the backdrops.

2007-07-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

hey. gerald sent me a essay written on the topic "emoism". it was kinda cool, but too scholastic. today i shall express and correct views about the common trend amongst teens, since many plainly understand that "emo" means emotional, and dont really get the true meaning of this overrated cliche. To be emo, as mentioned, is to be emotional. In actual fact, "emotional" is a vague word, which simply means: to get too involved in emotions. (according to dictionary.com) So what here is emotions? i can name a few for you: joy, sorrow - the 2 most contrasting and basic emotions of all human actions and reactions. This renders the word "emo" missused and misunderstood. i.e. i just scored full marks for a test and am overjoyed, I am emo. The often implied meaning of the word would definitely differ from its actual meaning, as expressed in the example. What exactly is the common-use meaning of "emo"? It would be the mixture of sorrow, angst, depression and desperation expressed in a single term. so? shove the word "emo".
Since i/we havent thought of a more suitable word to express the mixture of emotions, and for the sake of the audience, i shall keep to the term "emo". for now.
Many teens nowadays think that to be "emo" would be being cool. and so they quickly jump into it. despites their attempts, they simply lead a life in a facade. This is because they dont know what constituents "emoness" in the first place! well, what is the common impression of being "emo"? the most exaggerated action that defines "emoness" would be the slitting of wrists. It is a physical testimony of your "emoness", shown to the world. Is it so cool to slit your wrist? no guys, you die from it sometimes, and dying isnt fun, if you think it is, go watch 300, then come back to me. well, there are numerous methods to portray your "emoness" eg. mascara, unkempt hair. that isnt my main point. my point today is: try not to feel "emo", but if you really cant help it, there are more civilized ways to do so.
On a personal note, when i feel "emo", i'll just become very careless/carefree. i won't care much about stuff. its good, as i totally evict the possibility of going into those barbaric methods of releasing the stress inside me. But you must be wondering, if im careless/carefree, how can i be emo? well let me just say this to you: the mind is a separate element from the heart, what feel, you may not think about.
After saying all these, i hope you will put up a more offensive attitude towards the "emo" trend. i would say: shove "emo", be christian.

argh

2007-07-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

hey man. yeah, school still sucks now. theres some stupid chinese book test tomorrow which i havent prepared for at all. oh mans. i just realized that God's plan for each one of us isnt as simple as it seems. its tough to change something that has become integral in you, but somehow i am able to do so in a most sudden manner. well, giving up easily? no. sometimes you have to let go. and move on. something else will sprout out, brighter than before. that is God's plan for us. yes, no, grow. i dont know. haha. i wish His will would be written in some big book and handed to each one of us: "a personal, step-by-step guide to leading _____'s life" haha! the closest thing to that would be the Bible. but man, i cant find answers still. well. i guess its still in the "grow" stages? anyway, like bob said, i was too weak. but God will help me man. (:

stayover

2007-07-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

wahlao. hardcore. its monday morning already. youth day. now's 5.41 AM! haha. been up the whole night/day with the other dudes. yeah, ibob shaun linping daniel yicheng and tim are here at my place. as i type, they sleep. too weak? haha justkidding. tired tired tired. we played lots of bridge (cardgame), watched stupid stuff on youtube, more bridge, taught or teaching bob to do rubik's cube, more bridge, stone, play lf2 (haha!), and finally - knockout. tranquility fills the scene as my gaze shifts around the room. im starting to see shadows in every dark corner of the attic! haha! my mind is blanking out, just too tir-.....

shauns owned

2007-06-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

hey everyone, hais bad news. shaun got owned bad. he said he injured his hip or somethin, now hes on clutches. owned by some monfort punk in soccer he said. man. five becomes four man.. HAHA! nvm shaun we'll be praying for your speedy recovery. dammit. supposed to watch transformers with shaun tonight. maybe God doesnt like transformers man. oh wells. got a day of tomorrow (thurs), the next day too, and the next sch day too :O an ownage 5 day weekend. technically its not. but im not a technician. so anyway, i dunno why i keep boasting about my sch's 5 day weekend, when they torture us on other days. how gay is that. ahh. i dunno what to do with these 2 days. everyone else has school! probably have to catch up on work. havent done anything yet since the school started. thats only 3 days yeah i know, but gonna get owned next week by all the tests. i needa stayover! *hint* sunday-monday */hint*. yicheng!!!

school starts

2007-06-25T06:39:00.001-07:00

hey im updating! say thankyou now. haha. school just started today! AHH. back to prison. im prison breaking on weds, cuz i have no school on thurs, fri and next monday! haha! ownage right? some teacher training stuff lah. argh. wahlao, today my classmate jumped. he fell down the school block, 5 floors and got owned. hes hospitalized now. haha. oh wait, i shudnt 'haha'. but noone in class was disturbed by this news. haha! heartless punks we are. but its because we hardly know that dude. anyway, some say he attempted suicide, others say he fell. oh wells. i need supper! haha. randomness. school hols were good for me, but not as good as i hoped! well im glad i brought a few guys to church in the past month. back to prison. this sucks.

potc3

2007-06-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

hey doodle dudes. haha. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3 todayy. haha. went the brohood plus elys and mers. the movie? ownage. loads of random crap like the crabs and the multi-jacksparrow. it took up like 1/8 of the movie lor! haha! then will died ): and was converted to the flying dutchman's capt. then elys was like so sad. cuz she thought they were the perfect couple: will and elizabeth. haha. then mers was laughing like madd during the whole thing. especially at the parts with the 2 spastic pirates. haha theyre dam farny lah. chaoyunfat acted so little haha. and i thought that at the last part, there would be some epic battle: 9+ vs 2000 ships. sian. in the end it was 1v1 crap. jack sparrow was the ownage. so smart and everything. almost as solid as kenji. but kenji is still the one. overall, the plot and the comedy and the random crap made it quite good. i rate it 4/5 stars man. (; haha. then on the way back i discovered some new 156 route thanks to mers. haha! im one kind of frog in the well. sorrehh! hahah. okay nightz bRozxX and p3opl3szzxxZxz. mungeny right? (:

heh

2007-06-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

wahlao today just sucks. shove it, today really sucks. i lost. i lost my match, i lost a friend and i lost my wallet. stupid weekimwee crap lah. played like crap and lost to kranji punks. i lost a friend when i pissed someone off in the gym today, haha. and i lost my wallet! NO. but luckily i called the bus driver who fortunately found it. gay lar. got scolded like sick by my parents. but i got it back?? then they must talk about responsibility. haix. yeah true lah. i needa be more responsible. didnt go childrens camp haha. watching pirates soon. argh. this just sucks.

how i go

2007-05-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

"this isn't how i go". sometimes i see what is to come, it seems like ive seen the future in its most probable form. yeah like the guy in Big Fish, i tend to tell myself: "this isnt how i go". i know when my life's offtrack, and so i get it back on. but if i am ever unable to do this, i'll break. well hopefully that time will never come. sigh. i am now ichigo in hollowform, spiderman in blackform, and anakin in darthvader form. i need God's help and answers. thinking of the future just makes me sick. i wish i could stop it, but i cant. i wish i could fight it, but i was born with it. its screwing my brain up now. dammit. this isnt how i go.

semester1

2007-05-20T03:23:00.000-07:00

hey all. the holidays are almost here! (: yay. okay. wahlao, im getting dam sick of school mann. Im losing my steam, i cant last 2 more terms, seriously. im losing my determination to study and train badminton. dammit. havent skated in weeks. this saturday's yf is at sentosa! (: i wonder if i should bring my board there to skate. isit too poser? haha. sian. got so many stupid assignments due this coming week, the friggin last week of school. sigh. i need another weekend mann. i burnt mine superr fast this week, stupid RI open house crap, ate up my whole saturday morning and semi-afternoon. philo sucks. english article responses suck. wahlao, i wanna slack alr lah, mungens. i havent played guitar for ages too. my electric is collecting dust. crap. sian larhh.

realization

2007-05-10T06:44:00.000-07:00

hey. its gray. back with a new post, yay. t'was supposed to rhyme, if you didnt catch it, neverminid(: hey man. its over. the exams, or should i say, major tests, are over. happy? yeah. but i screwed bio. sad. haha, well, I NEEDA SKATE. havent skated for like 2 weeks. sians. needa ollie. i need to! 2 more weeks of school left! haha. school sucks. wahlao, today i hadta go to rgs to help out in the ORA game stall prep. sucks lah. my whole afternoon burnt liddat. haha. spent it taping badminton tubes together for some shuttle throwing game. and then they ordered 1500 wristbands to sell at ORA carn! what the crap lah. 1500.. and in the end, the supplier said they couldnt make the dateline on saturday. so we cant sell even 1 of the 1500! jagged like free. sigh. i really miss skating...

bankai

2007-04-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

exams are coming for some, but i have none - put that in your thanksgiving section of tonights prayer :O i have no midyears(: ive been pondering about many issues recently. about why God made all man equal, but some more equal than others (academic area). it is an inevitible fact that some of us need to study harder than others to get the same grades, some glance at a book and remember all that is on there, some can recall things they heard or sought after many years ago. Gifts of photographic memory, near-perfect short-term memory, mega-storage long term memory, super fast brain processing skills, a filtering ear, multitasking ability, rapid writing.. etc. (this sounds like "heroes", i know it does. but its true) Some have more of these gifts, some less, some *blah blah*. but dude. when it comes to studies, yes, you can slack. for some phases of your life. but when the important ones come, its time to bankai. yes. you must bankai. you must unlock 2% more of your brain momentarily (we only use 10%) for totally imba memory and processing speed. yes. its bankai. but you cannot spam your bankai. if you do, you'll run out of reiatsu and faint. this means that you'll get too stressed and die, or you'll be a no-life-er. bankai is the most powerful technique when mugging for exams. it means you chiong to make notes, day and night, then you mug them. every word. the highest level of bankai is when you can answer any question posed on that topic... and when you have memorised your textbook. bankai, will let you own. own all, everyone - classmates, schoolmates, school, previous batches..etc. but to obtain bankai, you must train for it. start learning to mug for small tests. but dont push the limit. dont bankai yet, or "bankai" will be like a monkey reaching for the moon but can only see its reflection in the lake. so train your bankai. then use it...when you know the time is right. i will unleash bankai on my A' levels. dont worry. i will. you'll see my bankai...

battle at acm.

2007-04-28T07:56:00.001-07:00

woah. i just attended my first acm (BOE renegade/interchurchwars/freeforall whacking session) sians. not as much whacking as expected): haha. excitement dwells in the hearts of all youths. oh wells. its good that acm didnt become taiwan politics(: throw chair, throw mic, throw micstand, throw bible :O wtc. i hope it doesnt reach that stage mann. wahlao, the uncle peng hock guy unleash full bankai at acm, tried to make some emo-propagenda speech about the split. "shelf the idea", i heard as "shove the idea" :O. maybe the BOE really should do that. shove the split idea. its more troublesome to split than to manage separately lah what the gay. wahlao, my dad didnt say anything lor. i cant stand men who let justice cloud their sense of morality, men who dont fight for what they believe. he didnt wanna own - own for YW. BOE is quite screwed to close YW. in the first place why open it. anyway, wait till i get church membership and when people stop despising my youth. then i'll show them my bankai.

im sickk):

2007-04-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

crapp larh. im sick. missed 3 days of school :D haha, that means i only went to school on tuesday this week(: because monday i had competition lah. i missed my math cct all my physics lessons this week. deadx, cuz monday theres some gay physics quiz -_- yeah and i kinda destroyed my knees after skating on tues. i FELL): argh. moving ollies are just too hard mann. its been a sian week again. my throats dying now): wahlao. ahh! i needa get well by tmr (sat) >_> then can attend the talk SB wanted me to!

the end of a new beginning.

2007-04-16T07:19:00.000-07:00

hello. its gramm again. back with a new post(: [yeah i know its obviously what youre reading now] ive got a whole new stonefaces from geraldong(: -.- =.= -_- *_* >_> ._. +_+ ^_^ 0_0 etc. [the list goes on for ages, trust me.] okay, back to the topic of the end to my new beginning. honestly, i dunno why i made that topic but i just felt like emoing so i am posting now.

okay. progress report came back and i got owned in chinese. i tried my best, really. i didnt purposely get a 54 to be cool or somethin, but i have to face my inborn disability towards chinese. I suck at it and will always suck at it. neverr mind. haha! after sec 4 i'll be rid of it -_- and so life will have to go on... even if i wished it ended here(: [cuz theres a better place awaiting us all]
i'm gonna buy my skateboard, finally. this friday i'll be going with chris (probably and hopefully) to spitfire to own :O yeah yeah, whats with the stereotype that all skaters are punks): anyway, my wallet gonna get a hole bigger than china, but im prepared for it, in the name of fun and "bored. board. bored..etc" blahs. guitar? haiss. can lah. i stumbled across a few flamingo chord sequences just now(: i know im the one, the keanu reaves. justkidding. im not an ego punk like ibob :O gtg bye(:

OBS

2007-01-12T06:11:00.000-08:00

OBS was quite horrible, although there were some incidents which i have to admit that were really funny.
Day 1: trustfalling and belaying practice. Tents were flooded freaking badly so we shifted to the hall. Overall comments: sleeping in a 'mini swimming pool' at night really sucks.
Day 2: kayaking practice to "sandfly island". Sandflies invaded tents at night. Overall comments: i have over 100 bites of sandfly bites on me now and im not very happy about it, cuz sandfly bites take 2 weeks+ to heal!
Day 3:

yf camp

2006-12-18T19:26:00.000-08:00

hey everyone! gray is back with a new post. about yf camp (: i was quite disappointed when my carie left camp on day 2 cuz i then had nothing much to do during my free time. i was also very disappointed in my carer (daniel you frung) when he gave me so little stuff, and not even interesting stuff (eg. twigs and leaves). yf camp was also a bit boring compared to the previous camps, but we cant blame the camp comm cuz they were trying their best to cope with the rain. sians. yf camp shouldnt have ended, quote:[linping: it should have been 2 weeks..] hahah. good things dont last forever is that so? oh wells. ive made alot more friends in camp! and also forged closer relationships. so im quite glad that it has been meaningful. however, i guess i didnt grow much spiritually cuz the speaker kept talking crap or about fundermental stuff. but im glad i realized something, God loves us... because he loves us. this sentence had and will always have a large impact on my christian journey down this ever narrow road.

dreams

2006-09-26T07:30:00.000-07:00

i've just had the weirdest dream. i shant tell you what its about. but it started off really riddiculously, then got more real as it went on. it did not end abruptly, but ended sooo perfectly. it ended so realistically that i even suspected that it was a premonition from God! :O haha! maybe lah.

Webtickletest...

2006-06-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

Graham, your personality type is INTP

About 3-4% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type.

Being an INTP means that although you may be thoughtful and quiet at times, you are also likely to be deeply ambitious. You're the kind of individual who sets personal goals for yourself and works hard to achieve them. Unlike many people with high aspirations, you aren't the kind to showboat in order to get noticed. Still, INTPs like you have a quiet intensity that most people can detect. This strength allows you to be a source of reassurance to those around you. When others are losing their cool in a crisis, you can be there to pick up the pieces. You may not always say much, but when you do speak up, you often manage to offer useful, thought-provoking insights.

In relationships, part of what often excites you is sharing your ideas about the world. You can enjoy talking over issues or helping to solve people's problems. In fact, you seem to have a real knack for problem-solving when there is a concrete solution that can be found. However you may be less eager to get involved in the grey areas of intense interpersonal problems - even when the problems are your own. This isn't because you don't care. You probably just don't want to be responsible for coming up with the "right" answer when someone else is involved. It can be a lot of pressure.

Given your test results, Tickle's personality experts have determined your four most compatible matches when connecting with others. One of those four compatible types is an ISTP.